Friday, December 28, 2007

Here's a little something

On Christmas nite, i can fall asleep... Mind was running thru alot of things... I tot of u... and this sudden idea came up... I wrote a 对联 for u...


一 鸣
目 笛
心 深
寻 思
永 远
友 谊
嘉 镁

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Its set

ok... i confirm it already... Things are not going to work out... I tried... I did my best... It ain't gonna change... So no point putting more effort into it... Lets juz leave it for now... No observation period needed anymore...

Sunday, December 23, 2007

I hate it, i miss u

I hate it so much when u are away... I alwiz get into problem when u are away... Where are u when i need u? This is not the 1st time where this happen le... Everytime when u are away, something alwiz happen to mi... The time when need u most, u are not around...

EDITED

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Drunk = Truth

Went for a small KTV session wif my colleage after work... For a chill coz today will be holiday... I actually planned to leave halfway to meet Jas to go Liquid, but seems like she overslept all the way till morning... So stayed all the way there at Party World che ren... Damn fucking ex lor... Total bill comes up to $430... Shit man... Tat amount if spent in Dbl O, can drink till u puke and continue to drink again and puke again lor...

Session finished at 2am... seems like some still haven had enuff to drink, so went over to Maxwell for supper and 2nd rd... till everyone is drunk... and never knew tat they started to tok drunk, telling truth, unknown truth... really astonishes mi... Surprised by some truth also lah...

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Tough Luck

Ah... i noe i'm juz not gonna get lucky... 2 mths ago 1 of my colleage ask mi if i'm interested for another job... which is at DSTA... Well of coz i am, and i noe he actually recommended 2 other over already... 1 of them only having N' level... and they pay is good... He checked it out for mi and now wat... They only wan ppl wif at least Dip... Fucking shit.. Juz my luck, few mths ago they are short of manpower so tats y they juz take in anyone wif experience... Sianzzz...

Made a serious mistake in work today... Was not in a very concious state coz took pills for my flu... Now juz gotta see wat actions to be taken la... (Moral of story, dun eat medicine when at work, dun work if u took medicine tat cause drowsiness)

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Nostalgic

Been long time since i change the template... yah... everyone remembers my blog as pinky blog... i love it wat... after changing the new template i get to see my archives... never realised tat i've been blogging for so many yrs liao... since 2003...

Went to read my very 1st entry till last... Wah piang... remembered alot of things... good and bad... my entries most of them are shitty ones... usually my rant when i'm in bad mood... cant remember some y i blog tat... but its so nice to read back all those words...

I've grown... i guess i did... met up wif Jasmine on sat after my work... stayed in office till 8pm... went for a drink wif her... updated our life... Jasmine said "U've growned" not in my size ah... its my maturity... surprised by the words... am glad too...

As usual went to NOS... but Jas says she haven seen alan for a long time too... ya so oblige to go Liquid wif her... (coz i dun wanna see some bitch over there) Jas willing to pose as my GF for the nite... Very sporty of her... so long since i've got such sincere hugs... really feels like a GF...

Alan still the same since i last saw him (mths ago, never contact him since then, or till he wake up) His 1st reaction was when did u 2 get together? Deep inside my heart was laffing like mad... Unlike Eve, never even bother to ask tat... Coz she noes wat the fuck is going on even when i never told her anything... really noes mi well... And the bitch, defintely acting like a brainless little ah lian... seeing mi and Jas hugs & hold hands, also did the same rite in front of my eyes... but who cares, tat bitch... Kind of pity the guy, Jessen, my campmate... hope he will not lose anything and wake up soon... aint not telling him anything...

Monday, December 10, 2007



Recently i'm addicted to this sound... I find this sound is more sexy than Saxophone... Totally hooked by it... It can calm my mood down... Lovely...





















I would really wan to possesed 1 of this...Though i do not noe how to play it, by having one will satisfy mi much... Any kind one can give mi this as a Christmas present or Bday present... If i got it, i'll definitely look for course to learn how to play it...

Saturday, December 08, 2007



Nice song... Suitable for mi when i got the news of "I'm getting married"
But i dun have so much agony like in this MV lah...

Friday, December 07, 2007

Now thats what i call music

A superb performance by Kitaro in his Love & Peace Tour... Full credits given to Kitaro & his 5 music friend... Brilliant... A mesmerising 2 hrs of music by him, especially Matsuri (the opening song for most banquet dinner)... A surprise by him playing 酒干倘卖无... Seeing him using his soul to play music can really let ur mind endulge in his world of music... Full enjoyment...

ZERO credits given to Unusual Productions... Fuck up video and audio display... Simply a no effort slip shot work by them... No wonder is call Unusual... Unusually LOUSY!!! But nontheless is definitely more worth while than watching jay chou chee bye... tat will be a total waste of money... If i'm grading Kitaro as a Diamond, then jay chou chee bye is juz carbon, not even lead...

Oh yah... met Madeline (my ex, 3rd GF) there... Walking past each other, a simple eye contact tells mi its her, she returned the eye contact, there confirm... juz greeted Hi... Remember tat she is a Kitaro freak fan... Haven seen her in many yrs, 2 more week to 5 yrs to be exact... A deep memory of her coz she broke up wif mi on 24th Dec 2002... Lost contact wif her since then... Wat a day ya... Haha... After tat did seen her once in Orchard mrt underpass towards Tangs, tat was the 1st time, today is the 2nd time...

Hey, all my ex are doing well man... 1st i got Amy getting married this mth 14th, then i got Serene getting married 18th Feb 08... (She broke the news to mi 2 days back... well kind of not surprise and anticipated it, same occurance like how Amy did)... Is Madeline gonna tell mi the same thing??? She do not have my No. , MSN , Friendster... Only trace left behind is email add, can be found in history... unless she dun use those add anymore... Well i cant care less also, all these are past, and i've long gotten over it, everyone leads their own life now, who became better, who became worse doesn't matter anymore...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Wat a day

Suppose to go ECP bladding wif Emi, Daniel, Mao Cheng & his bro... But last min change of plan. Emi wanted to go down Cine to support Dawne who is in a Nokia Digital Playzone Competition.
Dawne was in the glass room since Fri... Grand prize of 5K. Well in the end she won. Congrats!!!

I also did won something... A Nokia Bluetooth Stereo Headset



Frends of the finalist were ask to play the NGAGE game wif them, Dawne's BF joined her, then this contestant Marcus, poor little guy, seems like his frends dun wan to participate... Then in mean time we had this stupid idea of mi joining Marcus to play and bring him down so tat Dawne can score more... So i went, i'm really not good in handphone games, button so small, and i dun play one... But it turn out tat i helped Marcus to score the most... Finishing 1st... Haha... I was like oh shit... Gonna get damned by Dawne and her frends liao... I didnt do it on purpose, i guess the only reason i win is becoz i do not have any pressure, i juz play my own game, never think bout helping the finalist to gain score... Oh well, out of nowhere i got a big headset and Dawne got her 5K too... Happy ending...

Friday, November 16, 2007

Ironic

Dunno y a part of mi feel happy but the other part otherwise... Yes i've been promoted yesterday... now i work on my own, not attached to any seniors liao... something to celebrate coz i dun need to wash the toilet bowl of others liao... i've got my own bowl... at least i shit, i clean myself... On the other hand, feels so fucked... together wif mi 2 others got promoted... could say we are the same batch, we joined same time... yeah i should feel happy for them for getting promoted together... but the 2 didnt even reach the level, they up till now still dunno how to use the system to do up the admin part of the job... how can they handle case on their own... wherelse i already learned it all after 3 mths, where i go back to office on extra sats juz to ask my seniors to teach mi tat... tats so much for being hardworking ya... i felt so idiotic yesterday... 2 who can work from A - J and 1 who can work A - Z got promoted... Win liao lor... FUCKING LOUSY COMPANY!!! TOTALLY FUCKING BLIND!!!

Actually i already predicted this shit thing will happen during July... Tat day Puppy brought mi out to give mi a belated Bday treat... I've tok to her bout the thing i'm facing, and the main reason for mi to leave the company will be unfair treatment... Promotion at the same time... WOW!!! It happened... Y cant i predict sats 4D 1st prize... Ironic...

If i'm not in some $$$ crisis, i've already throw the resignation letter today liao... Sucking up for the time being to overcome my $$$ crisis 1st and also for CNY... Dun wanna be shitted during CNY... And now i will not work so hard, i work as i deserved, morning punch in evening punch out ON THE DOT!!! I dun even bother bout having OT claims anymore, the 1.5x cant even cover back my time lost for sleep and stress...

This noon Amy msn mi... Such a rare occasion tat she will msn mi... (AMY = my 2nd GF, the supporting actress for 欺 ) Instantly a instinct came up to mi, "Shit, she have something to tell mi." I got a bad feeling bout this... "Hey did i told u tat i'm getting married?" WOAH!!! Lightning struck immediately... Unable to react to the words, i juz replied "NO" and there she go telling mi when go sign paper, when ceremony, blah blah blah blah...

I've got no more feelings for her already, but the thing of hearing tat ur ex is getting married to other guy, the feeling is really weird... Dunno how to elaborate it, till u feel it, u will noe... So 1 side felt happy for her and the other hmmmmmm.......cant explain...

A week of double sided emotion... twice in a row... Wat's Next???

Tuesday, November 13, 2007




All i wan to say is U GOT BALLS!!!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Friday, October 12, 2007

好不好

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

X-Men
I'm being call upon by Professor Xavier. He gave me 2 needles... I injected the 1st one and mutated into Cyclops... The process was not fun... my eyes was in great pain and there is alot of yellow discharge... The 2nd needle mutate me into Pyro... My body was burning in a high 38.5 degrees... Tat was unbearable... For all this i got myself 2 day MC...

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Day 1 of MIA... Unbearable...

Day 2 of MIA... Still Unbearable...

Can i sustain this or i will give up halfway, walk towards the dark side...

I need support... Support to let mi carry on...

Friday, July 13, 2007

Kajuaz is going Missing In Action...

HP will be mute 24/7
MSN will be offline alwiz

The only place of action is here...

The only way to find mi is i find u... but of course muz let mi noe u are finding mi 1st...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

There is this saying... Don't Trouble The Trouble When The Trouble Don't Trouble You...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm In Trouble...

Monday, July 09, 2007

Alrite... Apart from the joke... I gotta declare tat i'm into shit... Some shit tat i predicted it coming, yet still i let it happen and got into it... Damn am i... I dunno who to turn to... I've alwiz scolded ppl for going into shit... Yeah... Look at mi now... I'm a shit myself... Ironic... SHIT!!!

I am so bad... Y?? Coz i got another bad thought...
How bout this........... Sexy Underwear Makes My Erection Rapid

I noe its bad but i guess u will give a laff 1st b4 saying #@$*&#

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Here's something i created for u...

Spreading Happiness All Round Offering New Education to New Generation

This thing juz pop into my mind juz like tat...

And here's one more... Crying Repeatedly Yet Still Thinking About Love

Haha... I'm good am i... and it matches the person... but sssshhhhhh... this is our secret joke... Only u and i noe wat is going on...

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Time flies

The 2 weeks of ICT finally over... A long yet short term... Saw alot of them but everyone still remain the same... The same clicks will stay together, the same feather flocks together... I, remain alone... Not much interaction... Wat the hell, juz do and finish the whole thing lah... Overall is considered fun lah...

Now again the sian part comes again... Back to work... Can i not???

Sunday, June 03, 2007








Haha... tats cool...

Friday, June 01, 2007

A Belated Big Birthday Present

Recieved my letter of confirmation yesterday... I've been confirm since 1st May... A wonderful present for mi though its kind of late to recieve it... Probation suppose to be 3 mths... But i'm being confirmed in less than 2 mths... Joined them on 12th Mar... A very good news for mi... My evaluation turns out very good... Scoring 2s and 3s only... Similar to O level grads, A1 is best and C5 is the last grad... Well i Passed With Flying Colours!!! I didn't really put in extra effort in my job, juz doing my work with my basic attitude... Yeah i noe ppl will sure get sore eyes for this... I knew it even b4 i got confirm... Now i juz wanna say Dun Pull Others Down To Show Tat U Are Higher, Climb With Ur Own Might!!! The More U Push Mi To The Steep & Narrow Path, The Stronger I'll Get And I'll Get More Ahead Of U... Ppl who noe mi will noe tat i'm the stupid fucker who like to walk on the rough path... I'm not afraid of the suffering i will face, i'm juz afraid tat it does not have sufficient suffering for mi to face... This is mi...

Now wif this job in hand, i'm setting myself a short term goal... I am gonna open my 1st fixed deposit account by end of 2008... Sounds easy but its quite tough considering the meager amount of take home every mth... But when things have to be done, it has to be done... This 18mths will gonna be tough on mi...

Btw i'm going back for reservice from 4th - 15th Jun... Waste of time... Fuck...

Thursday, May 31, 2007




Power lah this dog...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007





Addicted to this now... A minimun of 1 dosage per day for mi... So nice!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Sunday, May 13, 2007



Dun like this song... juz admire the person imitating so many voice is cool...

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Thank u ppl for remembering my Bday...

Amy, Adeline, Meow Meow, Jennifer, Jaclyn Mei, Sharon, Yan Ping, Thomas Lo, Kristine, Jessie Mei, Alan, Grace, Eve, Dickson & the one who share the same day with mi Jaslyn Jie.

Though i did not recieve any big present this yr but i'm still happy... Did not wan to celebrate it this yr... But Alan, Grace & Eve treated mi a btl of martel, so went down for a short drink... Yan Ping bought mi a little souvenir but i haven got time to get it from her... Sharon waited till 0000hrs to call mi and sang a birthday song to mi & wrote a delication letter to Yes9.33 but not read out... Jennifer sent mi a online card... Jaclyn Mei & Jessie Mei want to give mi a food treat, both on diff day coz they dun noe each other... Well all this ain't important, wat i took it to heart most is tat u guys remembered... This is already the PRICELESS presents i could ever recieved... (.^_^.)

Happy Birthday to myself...

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Kajuaz is so dead... Living like a dead... Nobody understands mi... A fucked up week i had... Screwed in every inch of mi... No trust... Not even a molecule of trust... I've closed all the windows, locked myself up... The key is outside, but i guess no one will be able to find it... Disappointed in the world... The ugly world...

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Woooo.... My army buddy Chris ordered 108 pcs of red rose from mi... And to my surprise he said its for proposal... Damn i cant believe it at fast... Too sudden... I sincerely wish him all the bast man...

Toking bout this... i dunno when will be the time i'm doing this shit... Btw rite now i do not wish to get attached for its gonna be my burden... Not saying tat gers are burden... but for my current situation now, am not suitable to have a partner for my job isnt stable yet and my current stress from work is already at a high level, i do not wish to go into my breaking point if my anata tiff wif mi... Am happy being single now, juz wish to get on track for my job, earn as much $$$ as i can, spend it on some little things tat i like and wish to fulfill...

Monday, April 09, 2007

Too much for uploading have been miss coz this stupid google kept giving mi problem in loggin on blogspot... shit...

Anyway... Am working in HP now... repairing their notebook... damn i'm now so good in screwing... haha...

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Google is lousy!!!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Long Vacation

Kajuaz really took a long vacation... Missing In Action for mths... Basically i'm in Msia lah... So nothing to rant bout... Actually i have alot alot alot to blog... but due to my com spoil, many have juz left behind... Rite now i got a com back, not a brand new one... But a sponsored one, courtesy of Alan... Got an old motherboard from him... Now i'm back into online actions...

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Wow... So long i did not blog le... My fucking com died on mi... tried ways and means to fix it but no avail... Damn... And been down on cash too... If i have the cash i'll fucking throw tat old com away for a new one... but seems like this is not so going to happen...

How pathetic of mi to be blogging in a lan shop now... A place u would never be able to find mi... I really hated lan shop... and those kids here... shouting while gaming... the noise level is intolerable... If not becoz i need to access mail for my flower selling thing, i'll never step in to this kind of shop... and not becoz they count by per hour and i've already paid for my 1 hr of usuage, i jolly well fuck off from here once i'm done wif my mails...

Well this yr as usual i'll go back to m'sia for CNY... shld be leaving after V day... Not becoz i gotta spend the day wif a Valentine... I gotta stay to make sure all my orders of flower have been delivered... I do not have a Valentine... and guess i wun be finding 1 soon... Happy wif this carefree life i'm leading now...

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Happy Birthday!!! Little One...

Its my little one 23rd Birthday today... I missed out on the simple celebration 3 days back but i never miss out the pressie... Already got it ready b4 i came to Msia... I noe u sure like wat i give u... Haha... Be good!!!


Bruce Lee Fav Drink?
WATER!

This is definiately not the fav drink of the ppl here where i'm staying... The rain can be said its like non stop... Yeah and i seen some flooded areas... Its simply like a river... Wooo... Dun drown the ppl here... Maybe drown those pigs can le... Dun drown the dragons here... Dunno hows the situation back over at home... Hows the rain situation over there... Newspaper here dun say much bout SG, internet here is damn slow and recently cut off coz of the flood... Damn...

I got my hair done up here... Haha... A good cut and dye... Guess wat... It cost mi only RM30... Believe it... Its juz so damn cheap... Bought few piece of new clothing also... And a damn good bargain i got is a bottle of Hugo Boss Pure Purple 100ml for only RM80... Cool rite... Too bad there isnt much choice left... Else i'll sweep it all... Well my ETA shld be by 4th- 6th Jan ba... Gonna stay here for my new yr countdown... Though the atmoshpere here is really no atmosphere... Its juz a dinner wif my Aunt's frends over here... Enjoying the food over here... Real nice...

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Fly Away

Am now blogging at M'sia... I wun be back for Christmas or New Yr... Relaxing myself and enjoying the clamness here... Feels so nice to stay here... No worries, no phone calls, no stress... Best... Total relaxation... Gonna get my hair done up here and buy new clothes here... Wat else can i do over here... Hmmmm....

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Now i noe wat the fuck is wrong wif mi... I'm the little fucker who is afraid of failure and losing... i'll never fight a war without 100% confidence of winning... I'm juz stuck in the little "World Of Little Kajuaz" I never step out of my life a bit... Never tried new things... I am too cautious of everything i do... No wonder i'm still nobody at this point of time... I've lost alot of battle... Uncountable ones... Juz becoz i never fight it... This is really a very contradicting point of decision... On the surface i never lost any battle, but in fact i've lost most of the battle juz becoz i dun wan to fight it... So it means tat on the surface my winning streak is 100% but in fact is actually 10%... Wooooooo... I'm so fucked... Fucked by myself...

Thursday, November 23, 2006

I feel like crying now... emotion breakdown... Y am i so dumb... i'm alwiz in the toilet bowl... covered wif shit...

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Have a laff 1st



This is not the 1st time this type of song is being broadcast in this show... Though i'm kind of used to it but i still laff out... Haha

Ahhh.... Its November le... So fast the yr is going to finish... This month is alwiz the month where Kajuaz will have the " Holiday Mood " feel... Really feels like the schooling time and waiting for this thing to come... Wheeeee..... I'm gonna get this feeling back again le... Real one wor... Gonna have holiday next week le... Cant wait for it to happen... Gotta start planning how to spend my holiday... Oh yah... I can wait for the love letter to come... Been waiting for it for a months le... opening the letterbox everyday... But no love letter... So Sad... Haizzz... Watever lah... Have or dun have is predestined one... I wun force... I still believe tat all will goes well when time is ripe...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

So Desu Ka

These are some little words i collected...

" U dun have gf meh? But i see ur frendster so many char bor leh... "
( Give mi a break man... I muz be a dumbass to put those pics up if i had a gf rite? I'm asking for trouble... )

" U watch Sex And The City one ah... Muz be looking for their sex scene rite? "
( I think watching xXx can satisfy mi more)

" U this kind noe how to appreciate art one meh? I tot only high class ppl noe how to appreciate it.. "
( It takes a mind to appreciate, not class )

" I wun intro female frends to u... They will be dirtied by u... "
( Oh!! So now i'm the top nodge rapist in Singapore le )

" Go out wif char bor rite??? Which ger so unfortunate??? "
( Guess i'm listed in the top 10 wanted person by the police already )

" Wah!! U read books one ah?? "
( I admit tat english books does makes mi sleep, but chinese dun )

So now i noe tat in ur eyes i'm such a lousy, low class, perverted piece of shit... Give mi a break lah... I'm single doesn't mean anything ok... I'm happily leading my single life...

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Retaliation




Dun force a tame dog to dead end... Even the meetest lamb will bite back...
Btw, this is a short teaser from the movie S11

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Well Done





I give 2 thumbs up for those comments... But i give 2 toes and 2 thumbs up for such a democratic lecturer... Really wonderful... Here is the link

Friday, November 10, 2006

Thick Skin

Watched the Superstar 2 audition... Fucked up... Y Singaporeans so thick skin one ah... U noe u cant sing then y the hell u still go for the audition to waste other ppl time... Have some consideration can??? I really wonder wat is in the mind of those ppl, are u dumb or wat... Having a big pile of shit in ur head??? And some even dare to doubt the judges... Wat the fuck... If u cant means u cant, so fuck off... Dun make a clown out of urself... Especially the stupid auntie tat goes back for the 2nd time... I'm sure u all noe which stupid auntie i toking bout lah... Seeing her is worst than wat the fuck lor... She thinks its funny??? I think she need to go IMH for a mind check... If i get to see her on the streets 1 day i'll scold her FUCK lor... Crazy ass...Go do something more meaningful lah, dun make a fool out of urself... I'm totally pissed and dissed bout this Superstar thingy le... I'm not going to watch it anymore... Very disappointed seeing a blind get champion in the last season... Not tat i discrmination disabled ppl, its juz tat he really cant sing well and there's nothing much he can do except play guitar and sing... Wat else??? Full of shit... And finding a star using audience sms... Fuck lah... Lidat might as well no need those judges... Need the judges for fuck??? Juz a puppet giving comments??? Ur comments doesn't affect the votes anyway... If the contestant got some filthy $$$ they can pay frends to sms for them wat... Fuck Project Superstar 2!!! Juz a money earning gimmick show...

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Refreshed

Aroma therapy really does help a little... I bought a air purifier... And 3 bottles of essence oil... Having nice smell in my room now... My mood is more light nowadays also... Ahhhhh.... Feels so good...

And still there's ppl asking mi whether i'm in love... AAARRRGGGHHH... Lazy to ans them also... I noe myself very clearly wat i am and wat i'm doing... Anyway its not a close frend also... Untill now i think only 1 person understand wat Kissing Affectionately Justify Unity And Zeal means... Sad case... Nobody actually reads mi mind... they only see mi on the surface wif shallow thoughts...

WOW




Got this pic juz now... wow... this was taken in 1999... Wooooo... look at the cute little Kajuaz... Haha... Observing it... Tat time i was in NCC and got to wear this uniform already... And i stole ppl badges to wear... Neh... Tat one in the red circle... Its the airborne badge...



Never did know tat yrs later i actually earn the badge also... Genuine one... Haha...

Sunday, November 05, 2006

For Kissing Affectionately Justify Unity And Zeal



??????????

???????????
???????????
????????????
???????????
???????????
???????????
????????????
???????????
??????????
??????????
????????????
????????????
??????????
??????????
????????????
????darling?????
???????????
???????????
????????????
???????????
??????????
??????????
????????????
????????????
??????????
??????????
????????????
????darling?????
???????????
??????????
???????????
??????????
??????????
??????????
????????????
????????????
??????????
??????????
????????????
????darling?????

Sux!!!

Ah.... tot i have solve the fucking problem of blogging in chinese character... damn... Still not solve... watever lah... dun have also can type in english wat... PUI!!!

Came back from east coast for a day of bladding... And decided to get myself a pair of blades... Since i have a grp of kakis tat will meet up on sat to blade and they all had their blades... so i guess this amt of money is worth it...

Yah and i had a bad fall today... haha... got my left knee a big patch of wound... never did i tot i will fall... was trying out new stunts but fail... shit... wat the hell... juz gotta be careful more...

Kajuaz is feeling so lonely these few weeks except for the working hrs and sat at east coast... Guess when i'm alone i really will start thinking wild... I seriously needs companionship... else i'll die...

And many ppl ask if i had a gf recently... I said no... Then they ponder bout my new nick on msn... Kissing Affectionately Justify Unity And Zeal... I smiled... Any smart aleck can understand wat this short phrase means??? Tag mi to tell mi the ans... Lets see who is the one who understand mi...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

??

???????????????????

Thursday, October 26, 2006

???????
???????
???????
???????
???????
???????
???????
???????
???????
???????
???????

???????????? So happy... Save mi so much trouble... Juz being lucky to steal the HTML code from a frends source... Took 5 mins to study those fucking long and messy code... made a smart guess and wahhllah... (-_-)

Sunday, October 22, 2006

A blissful song

Actually i got alot to blog... but juz dunno where to start... and not in the rite mood to type also... so..............................................

Friday, October 13, 2006

TIME TO DESTRESS!!! HAVE SOME LAUGHTER





Wednesday, October 11, 2006

WOW... How many % true???

I did this online astrology test on personality... This is wat it say....


Life Path 7 (7, 16/7, 25/7, 34/7)
The Life Path 7 suggests that you entered this plane with a gift for investigation, analysis, and keen observation. You are a thinker of the first order. You evaluate situations very quickly, and with amazing accuracy. As a result, you are thorough and complete in your work, the perfectionist who expects everyone else to meet a high standard of performance, too.
A Life Path 7 person is a peaceful and affectionate soul. But you guard your connection to people carefully. It's easy for you to detect deception and recognize insincere people, and you avoid them. You aren't one to have a wide circle of friends, but once you accept someone as a friend, it's for life. It's as if you must get to know someone a lot better before you allow the wall surrounding you to be penetrated. Chances are you are a very charming and refined individual with great poise and a quick wit. Nonetheless, there is an exclusiveness about you. You probably aren't a very social person. Your reserve is often taken to be aloofness, but actually, it's not that at all. It is merely a cover up for your basic feeling of insecurity. There's no rush, It takes time for you to warm up to new friends. Clubs and organizations hold little interest for you; you are not a joiner.
You actually like being alone and away from the hustle and bustle of modern life. In many ways, you would have fit in better in much earlier times when the pace of life was less hectic. You need a good deal of quiet time to be with your own inner thoughts and dreams. You dislike crowds, noise, distractions, and confusion.
The overwhelming strength of the number 7 is reflected in the depth of thinking that is shown; you will garner knowledge from practically every source that you find. Intellectual, scientific, and studious, you don't accept a premise until you have dissected the subject and arrived at your own independent conclusion.
This is a very spiritual number and it often denotes a sort of spiritual wisdom that becomes apparent at a fairly early age. A built in inner guide providing a strong sense of intuition may set you up as being a law unto yourself. Whatever spiritual position you take, whether traditional or bizarre, you will cling to it with fervor. Once you have decided an issue, it is almost impossible to get you to revisit the question. Adaptability is not your style, and change for you is a rarity.
You rely heavily on your experiences and your intuition, rather than accepting advice from someone. Your hunches usually prove to be very accurate, and knowing this, you follow the directions they seem to guide.
In the most negative use of the 7 energies, you can become very pessimistic, lackadaisical, quarrelsome, and secretive. A Life Path 7 individual who is not living life fully and gaining through experiences, is a hard person to live with because of a serious lack of consideration for others. There is such a negative attitude. Indeed, operating on the negative side of the 7 can produce a very selfish and spoiled individual and living with one can be a challenge. This may be why some 7s actually prefer living alone. If you have any of the negative traits they are very difficult to get rid of because you tend to feel that the world really does owe you a living or that in some way you are not being fairly treated.
Fortunately, the negative 7 is not the typical 7, at least not without some mitigating positive traits. This number is one that seems to have some major shifts from highs to lows. Stability in feelings may be elusive for you.


Tell mi how true is this about mi in my shoutbox...

FEAR

Oh my... This is terrible... seeing more frends getting married... am not worried bout the wedding dinner red packets... is juz tat seeing frends around getting married is really fearful... When will be ur turn?? Tats the fucking question u dun wanna think and ans... its so embarassing but indeed have to think bout this question... seriously i really cant forsee myself having tat day... its juz so far away... so far tat its not even being tot of... DAMN...

Maybe to really start looking towards this goal, i gotta get myself shit ass attached 1st lah... oh god pls send a girlfrend to mi... a true blue one... not those LV Prada, Sassy, Bitchy, Horny and Dead ones... So picky of mi... guess god will juz show mi his middle finger and say go fucking find urself lah!!! Yah... True... I'll go find myself a fuck... haha... ('',)

Friday, September 08, 2006

World Most Destructive Weapon



No!!! Its not the Atomic Bomb nor Anthrax... Its human... Whoever or watever created human is destroying the world... Humans is now the most destructive weapon on earth... Coz we are getting smarter and smarter... Creating more new things to destroy the world... To think tat suicide bomber is already the extreme thing a human can do... There actually 1 more thing tat is more extreme than suicide bomber... Which every human is capable of doing... Its even more inhumane than suicide bomber .............................................


IGNORING & NEGLECTING... This the ultimate weapon used by humans every now and then... The power of it is even more suffering than dying... Capable of making ppl dun wan to die yet feel like dying & make ppl do ultimate things which include self destruction... Who can destroy this horrigible weapon which everyone is capable of using???

Monday, September 04, 2006

BDSM

For those who dunno wat BDSM means, its Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Machoism...

Nah... i'm not toking bout this topic... I'm juz gonna say bout Domination... Looking us people in our life now... we are totally dominated by technology today... How many actually can live without HP & PC??? Our everday life will include these 2 little but very dominating fellow here... It in fact became part of human life now... I really wonder how the people live thru in the olden days where these 2 fellow doesn't exist??? Even small children... yes i mean small children in pri 1... they even noe wat bluetooth is... they noe how to surf net & send email... Wat the fuck!!! I think i'm still sucking thumb when i'm in pri 1... Well juz gotta blame it tat i'm born in the 19th century; the last of the Old Era... Now is start of the New X Era...

I'm gonna try to experience the feeling of 1 week without HP & PC... Hmmmm... Is it too long... I'm afraid i cant take it... Shit man... How am i gonna make it...

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Kiss Of Death

Wat does a kiss signifies??? When 2 person kiss, wat is the msg within??? Does it means I Love You?? Does it means We Are Together??? Or does it means I Wanna Taste Ur Saliva???

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Reed Wat U Sow

Been in the test for a while... Passed my PSLE and now am in the O'level... results will be out this week... Am real excited bout it but at the same time worries suface too... Kind of surprise tat i actually can last so long... its not tat easy... especially flu period... Its so unbearable... Well its already up to this stage now... guess i'm learning to get used to it le...

Thursday, August 24, 2006

A Short Story For You


A man went to pray to god and made a wish, "Oh god, pls let mi strike lottery."
God replied :" Ok, i will help u."
The 2nd day the man went back to find god, "Oh god, pls let mi strike lottery."
God replied :" Ok, i will help u."
The 3rd day the man went back to find god again, "Oh god, pls met mi strike lottery."
God was angry, " How the Fuck am i suppose to help u when u didn't even buy a lottery ticket?!"

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Iced...


I'm frozen... Been in the freezer for 2 days le... Totally lost inside... Cold, hunger, selfless, hopeless and dunno where to find the exit... Its totally sealed up... No outside air able to penetrate thru it... I guess i'll juz stay inside for a few more days ba... I'm still clinging on to the hope tat a fire will melt down all the ice...

Saturday, August 19, 2006

This will gonna be my next art movie... No matter wat i'll go watch it... and YOU... yes i mean YOU... YOU are gonna acc mi to catch this movie together... YOU reading my blog... YOU noe who YOU are... YOU missed S11 wif mi... so now YOU no matter wat YOU muz watch this wif mi... YOU have many dates to choose... 23th - 26th & 30th - 2nd... YOU better choose a date asap... Its showing at The Art House... YOU are going to sms mi when YOU see this.... Visit Smell Of Rain & The Art House
Test Of Valour
I'm going thru this... A simply very difficult task for mi to take... A test tat will make my mind goes wild... I'm not sure whether i can make it thru this... But I'll try and try... I'll overcome all the obstacles and mind test each time... Its not easy to have such test everytime... I consider myself lucky to have this test going thru mi... If i pass this test i'm gonna gain lots of experience points and level up many level... And i'm a better person from then on...
Bird Flu
I didnt caught the H5N1 virus... Instead i caught the specially mutated virus created juz for mi... The H5C5 virus... Courtesy of Miss Hot5 & Cold5... There is no cure for this special virus yet... But i'm gonna find this cure myself...

Sunday, August 06, 2006

This is a really fucking nice movie... A great show... I totally enjoyed the whole session... I'll give 2 thumbs & 2 toes up for it... Money worth spending... Although the film quality isn't tat good but the filming style is damn good... I dunno how to describe it lah... juz damn good lor...

The whole show is full of coarse language... All the fucking,KNN,CB,LJ everything come out... Its really shows out a true blue Singaporean life... Everything transparent... But its a pity tat there isn't much publicity on this and it only have 5 shows in total... I wuld recommend frends to go watch this show coz it really can help u forget ur stress... But too bad... last show at tonite.... Sobs...

Saturday, August 05, 2006


I gonna watch this show later... dunno whether its gonna be good anot... but the 1st impression it gave mi makes mi wanna watch it... It shld be a typical singaporean show... I like singaporean show coz its so true and uniquely singapore... Its something others cant impersonate one... All the KNN, CCB, LJ etc... this is singapore...

Actually wanna go watch the Fireworks Festival one... but when i found out the this show only got 5 screening... i rather forsake the firworks show...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Balding

Realise tat nowadays when i wash my hair theres a increase amount of fallen hair grabbed in my hands... a really great difference from last time... will i face balding situation???
Thinner

Got a few ppl say tat i look thinner le... I wonder y??? Recently i've been eating more than usual which is 3 meals... B4 tat i was eating 1 meal per day... So does it mean tat the more u eat the thinner u get??? Shld i be happy when i hear tat??? coz i'm quite worried... i've been eating more, no work stress, how come will get thinner leh... worried tat my body is haywire... my body is sick... i dunno... i scared...

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

No blog... dun feel like blogging... too much fuck shit happened over the weekend till today... anyway already forgot some of the happenings and dun wish to remember them by blogging them down...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Tired

I'm tried... juz plain tried... tried mainly on my body and some on my mind... see... i'm tried till i type the word rongly... wat the hell...

Monday, July 24, 2006

Sleepless nite

Oh i did not sleep well last nite... dunno y suddenly i feel so lonely instead of horny... for the 1st time the lonely virus struck and hit mi hard... usually i can overcome it myself... but last nite the feeling was so strong... one tat i cant defence myself from it...

Forgive & Forget

I found out tat forgiving someone is such an easy task compared to forgetting... Forgiving someone needs time but forgetting wat someone did to u needs a hard knock on the head... ( to lose memory)

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Understanding Kajuaz

How many understand Little Kajuaz??? Kajuaz have 3 female buddies, 1 male buddy... Pathetic ah... I dun think so... having so little is better than having alot alot of aquaintances which dun even give a damn shit bout u... When u are in trouble they juz leave u in lurch...

So out of my buddies, who can understand mi and deserve my care and concern in return??? Seriously there is only 1 female and the male... Y only 50% ??? I glad its 50% only... juz a nice no. not too little not too much... Then how bout the other 2 female ones??? Nah!!!... they dun deserve my care and concern... maybe u think i'm bit of too much to say this coz i claim tat they are my buddy... ya true they are my buddy... but they will only find mi when they are in trouble... I have reasons to say this... they dun sincerely care bout wats going on in my life, wat they really care bout is their bf... this is kind of sensitive here... how does it affect mi... It defineately affect mi coz i've been hurt by them b4 becoz of their bf... i'm like a piece of turd... Fuck... i csnt carry on writing... damn pissed off when come to think of it...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Juz a comment


I got a little comment from an uncle while working on his computer... It goes like this :

Uncle: Young man! Are u ok??

Me: Yah...

Uncle: Are u into Opera or Drama??? U painted ur nails...

Me: No... I'm not into tat...

Uncle: Do u have a girlfriend anot???

Me: No... But i'm straight...

Uncle: U cannot do this u noe... All the gers will be jealous of u becoz u got nicer nails than them...

Me: (-_-)lll


Ok I do smile back at him lah... well he put his sacarcism in a nice way lah... Listen only to the good things... haha... Anyway I've removed the polish already... Reason??? Not becoz of comments I cant take... But its becoz 7th mth is next week... I dun wanna get attention from the HUMANS & NON - HUMANS... Looking at the chinese calendar... I gotta wait till Sept 25th b4 I can repolish my nails again... dunno I still can see my nails anot... If I do means its so damn long... If I dun either means it breaks or I go back to reservice...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Black or White???

Which is nicer?? Black or White... Haha... now then i realise white is so diff to paint... i painted 4 layer of white b4 i can actually make my nails opaque white...



PS. Stupid Eve suggest tat i paint 1 black 1 white...

Monday, July 17, 2006

Oh my fucking god!!! God damn it!!!


Went to the wall to press $$$ this morning.... inserted my card, juz when i wanted to key in my PIN... WAT THE FUCK!!! Its not my name showing on the welcome screen... It shows Tan Heng Chong... I blurred for few secs... cancel the transaction to retrieve my card to check... FUCK~!!!... Its really not mine card... How the hell did this card fall into my hand... Back track my memories... my last transaction is in Xchange Room... Great!!!... Blur Waitresses...

No choice gotta call the customer service to report this stupid case... Luckily i no need to pay for the replacement card and tat person did not find out bout this also... he did not use my card... BUT unfortunately i dun have cash wif mi... shit... cant even buy cigarettes... feels so naked and hadicap without my card around... no cash and cant even get cash... PIECE OF SHIT... now gotta wait for few days to have the replacement sent to mi...

Sunday, July 16, 2006




Bought this book... really attracts mi when i 1st glimpse at the cover... haven started reading it yet... but i noe i will finish this book... actually i'm also quite interested in his life... i wanna noe more bout him...

I wanna watch this movie... i love horror movie... especially when it can let mi have a chill down my spine... but till now only 'The Eye' done it to mi b4... reviews heard is not really nice... was scary in the 1st part but had a touching ending at the end... spoiler for a horror movie...

Here's the 2nd movie on my list... Dun really noe wat is it bout but its catches my attention when the trailer was broadcast at the big screen Shaw Lido... was walking pass there and i stopped to watch it... shld be interesting... bit of art, feelings... i gonna watch it no matter wat... i juz cant find kaki to watch wif mi...

Thursday, July 13, 2006

WOOHOO

Look at this piece of beautiful art man... woohoo...



Do not doubt... this is little Kajuaz's hand... and the nails ain't fake... they are absoufuckinglutely nails tat grow out from my fingers... If u feel disgusted... pls leave and head to the toilet bowl, plant ur head in there and fucking puke ur intestine out... I dun give a fucking damn of wat ppl gonna say bout my nails... all i wanna say is I DARE... I even went to work like this... my colleague were all numb shut bout this... so if u dun like my nails, at least tells mi tat i got 'balls' to do it...

(.-_-.)

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Dreamsss
Been having alot of dreamsss these few days... and every of it is a bad dream... not a nitemare actually coz i dun jump out of my sleep having cold sweat... juz bad dream tat disturb my sleep... i think i do tok in my dreamsss... cant remember wat i had... only remembered tat some frends were in my dreamsss... did they come to my dreamland to scare mi... haha... i dunno... juz felt wierd... could it be my mind is at somewhere else so tats y there's a space for dreamsss to come in... wierd wierd wierd...
I'm Innocent!!!
How can u treat a frend like this... ur frend is innocent... ; ever got scolded out of nothing juz becoz ur frend is not in a good mood??? or shld i say pms??? mood swing??? how can a real frend to this... Personally i dun do tat to my frends which i cherish... even if i'm in a bad mood i'll juz sit down, shut myself & show a black face... i dun get piss off wif my frend when they did nothing to mi... THEY ARE INNOCENT!!! I cant tolerate ppl who do this to mi or they do to their frends... its so incorrigible...
r

Monday, July 10, 2006

Lousy shitty day... made a super big mistake today at work... shld say its a irreversible mistake... i deleted the important data of the user... luckily my colleague got magic power... help mi retrieve back the deleted data... mission impossible...

My mind was at somewhere else today or shld i say at someones' else... no mood to work at all especially after this big mistake... i pratically stopped work... juz daze around waited for time to go home... i shld stop missing someone already... it feels so terrible doing tat... makes my day so down... ya i shld... wat for i miss someone impossible... shld listen to wat Miss Eng says... "Bu Zhi De"... yap i've woken up... ain't not too late rite... and i've not played any high handed games... in fact i threw it away... ain't a game for mi to play... think i will not touch any in short time... guess i dun have wat it takes to be a bad boy afterall... non of those programmes is installed in mi... i'll juz be the Silly Little Kajuaz i used to be bah...

Sunday, July 09, 2006

A boring and lonely weekend for little Kajuaz... but its a good weather tat Kajuaz like... rainy weather... Kajuaz favourite.... dark sky, big wind, heavy rain... wow... feels so nice... ya maybe becoz Kajuaz feels so lonely now... tats y he like this kind of weather... which describes his moods... maybe???

BTW Kajuaz has mutated... Is Kajuaz an X-Men??? Not Wolverine but Kajuazine haha...





Amazing isn't it... i had such long nails... ya i noe some say its disgusting... but i say its a miracle... how many can actually leave their nails so long without breaking it??? i need to work using my hands also... but of course i do take precaution as not to break my nails... And i'm gonna paint my nails... yeah... who dares to challenge mi...

Kajuaz miss her so much... any cure for missing someone???

Monday, June 12, 2006

Fucking Monday blues.... 1st i woke up late... still feeling very tired... while working my mind was floating at somewhere else... and juz as u tot its nothing, everything else juz come knocking on ur door... everything thing went wrong for mi at work today... those pc tat i work on all have problems... and its all new problems... i gotta seek from from my colleague to solve them... shit...

Today reach home late...lazing on the sofa watching tv and suddenly have this nostalgic feeling... thinking back tat now i'm in the working world le... no longer waking up in the morning going to sch for studies anymore... last time was worries for studies... but now is worry for future... i hate growing up... who can lend mi the time machine???

Look at Little Kajuaz at then................







and Little Kajuaz face was on the Esplanade pillar once...




and now this the the Little Kajuaz in reality





Time really flies.... cant imagine i'll get married, be a father, have my own hse, own car etc etc... so horrigible come to think of it...

Friday, June 09, 2006

Work is good... and little Kajuaz is good too... got along very well wif colleagues... now we are like frends working together... lots of laffter, shit stirring and tokking cock... going to work feels so relaxed... no stress, no pressure... glad i found this job... only bad thing is the money thingy.... haha.... juz hope to have more....

Sleep is good... Kajuaz is back to normal human sleeping time le... insonmia no more... having good nite sleep every nite... and wake up feeling fresh...


juz like this



I got a wishlist in my mind which i wanna fulfil it in few months time when i get my salary...

  1. A diamond ring for myself
  2. Command & Conquer Generals
  3. Wolrld of Warcraft
  4. LCD monitor
  5. New motherboard ( com upgrade)
  6. A small dvd player which support Divx
  7. A new Nokia
  8. Another half yr supply of contact lense

Lets juz see how many can i fulfil wif my meagre pay...

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Lazy kajuaz stayed at home for the weekends... well nothing to do boring... luckily i got 4 cute ladies to acc mi... juz got the full series of Sex And The City... been following up wif them nowadays...

The week been quite busy... although work is easy and i alwiz finish work b4 4pm... but i still feel very tired everyday... Been a week since i worked... everything have been fine... learned everything in juz a short 3 days... now i can be on my own le... but guess i'll be looking for a nite job or i'll change for a better pay job...

Birthday is over... well... never quite celebrated it... only went for a good meal wif a few good frends... got a nice Domanchi shirt from Sharon & Summer, a box of great tasty chocolates from my cute little puppy Jaclyn, a pouch fron Serene... its nice of them to get mi a present... Thank U guys... really appreciated it...

Been bitching in a singapore forum call flowerpod nowadays... very infomative... all the basic A, B ,C of ppl and life... juz for the knowledge of myself only lah.... posted a thread on cold songs... not bad... got quite a few response... quite alot of recommendations on cold songs... really nice to listen to cold songs...

Monday, May 08, 2006

Wat a day i had... recieved an sms from Jingyong at noon asking wanna watch MI3... well i didnt plan to catch this movie... but ya its a sunday and i've been stuck at home for so many days le, so might as well go out for some fresh air ba... and bloody hell JY & Million choose Jurong Pt... WTF man... so far for mi... but well i still went in the end... lucky JY drives so at least i dun have to stand on the bloody train and squeeze wif ppl...Caught the 6.20pm show...

Here's wat i feel bout the show... 2 thumbs up man... though i'm not a MI fan nor crazy bout Mr Bruise... and i did not watch the previous 2 MI... so thumbs up is for the actions and technology... was real impressed by it...

Went off to visit Congo's son... coz the 2 bastards never went for his son 1st mths celebration... sat down tok cock, catch up, bitching around at a prata shop nearby...

Well really enjoy today's bitching session... been some time since we sat down and tok bout each other lan jiao wei... scolding each other all the vulgarities... haha... those were the days...

Happy Bitching!!!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Apparently silly Kajuaz have been sick for 2 days le... Having bad fever & throat inflamation... I cant even tok now... throat feels so painful even when swallowing saliva... and ya i did lost my voice coz of the thick phlgem stuck in my throat cant cough out... haizzz... real bad fever coming on and off for many times... feel so miserable now... and i didnt eat much these 2 days... only ate porridge.... kinda hungry now but no appetite... when will this fucking idiotic virus dies off... its killing mi le... i wanna eat good food on my bday one...

Ppl who strained their eyes reading this; I DID IT ON PURPOSE!!!

Oh yah... not forgeting to add more to my wishlist...

  1. A webcam
  2. Original Windows XP
  3. Fragrant items tat can scent up my room

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Where's my smile???

Been no good since i last update... Bad as in real bad, damn bad, never tat bad b4... I've been jobless for almost 3 mths le... No job, no money, no happiness, no life... Ain't tat juz bad enuff to kill urself... Now worse still tat my Bday is nearing... cant celebrate... anyway its nothing to celebrate actually... been celebrating for the past 5 yrs le... a bit bored bout it now... maybe shld do something new... how bout get 10 gers to rape mi??? maybe not enuff... how bout 20... haha... i'm so full of shit... crazy...

How bout mi telling u my crazy wishlist for this yr...

  1. 20 gers to rape mi... haha
  2. A good meal tat will make mi gain 10kg...
  3. A job tat can give mi high salary... U hire mi???
  4. A watch tat can last 10yrs
  5. Command & Conquer Generals (original), Zero Hours expansion
  6. A new Nokia
  7. A decent pair of specs

Actually also not much lah... Juz some stupid ideas in my silly brain now...

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Here's the Silly Kajuaz... after so long of m.i.a he's finally back here to blog...

A short update of him for those who are concern for him... Silly Kajuaz is now jobless... quitted his job b4 CNY juz becoz he dun like the place... haha... so now he is tending his very own mushroom farm... its getting bigger as days goes... haha... Full Of Shit rite... nvm bout this lame guy lah... juz pray hard for him to get a job soon... hopefully to his likings...
Other than this he is still the same old Kajuaz u noe... nothing has change...

Thursday, December 29, 2005

FIRE!!! Dun ever play wif fire... its seems so nice to play wif... but when it gets out of control, its hell break loose...

Friday, December 23, 2005

So scared... Human are so scary... its so dofficult to survive in the outside world now... too much things i haven seen and been thru... i'm juz a bloody green horn... and only all the hypocrite ppl survive... they killed all the nice ppl out there... i'm being killed too... i had alot to learn... learn to be more 'jian' in order to survive...

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I'm back 2 weeks ago le... juz plain lazy to update... busy working also...

Saturday, October 22, 2005

I need a vacation... and i'm going now... well i wun be far but not near too... and for how longi'm away i also dunno... juz wanted alot of breathing space for myself... till my stress level is down then i'll be back... my hp will still be contactable... but i'll see who to reply... hp bill very the ex... already owing singtel alot now le... so till the next time i blog... i have vanished... poof........................................................................

And i purposely put this color to strain ur eyes... come bite mi lah!!!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Its been long since i last blog... but who cares... nobody bothers anyway... blogging at such a time might be strange for some ppl... but its a normal time for mi le... cant sleep anyway...

Well later i'll be heading back camp for the last time to collect my pink ic... finally i regain my freedom... well but i tink it isnt tat great anyway... so many have been thru this le... juz get pink ic only wat... wats the big deal??? The biggest deal for mi is i'll be transact into another stage of my life le... my working life...

I'm floating and lost now... 1st i cant survive without $$$, 2ndly the job i'm taking rite now doesnt pays mi yet, lastly the job tat i wanted haven reply mi yet... I'm now helping my frend in an event company doing shit job... actually doing events is one of my likings... but he wans mi to learn by clinching deals wif clients first; which is somethingi'm not good at... i'm not good in my words... it takes mi some 30 secs to twist my words around... and i dun really noe how to handle picky clients... this really got mi into high level of stress... watever lah... anyway in the meantime i'll be looking for a morning part time job first while waiting for police to reply mi... my fear is now if police side really dun reply mi, i'll really be floating in mid air le... i've asked myself wat else can i do??? no cert, no skills, no experience... wat kind of job can be a career for mi... i'm so damn now... I now really dunno wat the fuck will happen next...

I'm lonely too... dunno y this feeling comes to mi... when i started clearing my leave... i'm feeling so damn lonely... i have trouble can tell frends, yes i noe tat... but its cant be watever problem i have i share it wif my frends wat... everyone have their problems too... i too feel paiseh to bother them also... i need a girlfrend... someone whom i can share my problems wif, be with mi when i'm down... yes i noe this i gotta solve it myself... but the problem wif mi is i dunno how to go after a ger... i've tried... and falied... somehow i have phobia of this le... i'm so afraid of being rejected, being hurt... i hate tat... i'm tired too... it takes mi alot of courage to express my feelings to a ger... but wat i get in the end... alot of strength to wipe my tears and walk again... yes i'm now standing strong but i'm alone.... hopeless i can say to myself... force myself to put on a smile everyday... drink to numb my brains to stop thinking for the nite... (-_-)

When will you appear??? I need you!!!